“O Lord, you have deceived me, and I was deceived; you are stronger than I, and you have prevailed. I have become a laughingstock all the day; everyone mocks me. For whenever I speak, I cry out, I shout, ‘Violence and destruction!’ For the word of the Lord has become for me a reproach and derision all day long. If I say, ‘I will not mention him, or speak any more in his name,’ there is in my heart as it were a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I am weary with holding it in, and I cannot.” (Jeremiah 20:7-9)
Jeremiah was ridiculed and scorned because of the message the Lord had given him. He felt that the Lord had never told him that he would be subjected to such ridicule, ostracism, or even physical assault. He felt overwhelmed by all that he was suffering. So he broke down. He complained that the Lord had abused and then abandoned him, had deliberately given him false prophecy. God had said one thing and done another. So Jeremiah cursed his life, his call, and his birth.
Jeremiah initially had great confidence in God, but his words reveal that he had plunged into the deep and dark pit of total despair. We, like Jeremiah, often wrestle with the call to serve God in the face of doubt, trials, persecution, abuse, and the temptation to compromise the word, to do what the world says and ignore God. At these times, we must not be afraid to express our doubt, anger, and fear to God. We must pour out our true feelings to Him. We cannot deny their existence, nor can we bottle them up inside. We must express them to the only one who can help. The very expression of them is beneficial, for as we pray the Lord helps us to see our situation through His eyes. Thus, He gives us the strength to continue.
The Holy Spirit burns in us like a fire, consuming us with the Word of God and His power, just as He did in the heart of Jeremiah. The prophet’s dismay gives hope for all of us who struggle with the Christian life. Though we may cry out and rage against God, or engage in prayers which border on the blasphemous, we must realize that resistance is futile: God always has the final word. Therein lies our hope: He will still continue to use us no matter how imperfect we are. He does not extend his call to the brave, the saintly, to those who do not know doubt and despair. Rather, it pleases Him to entrust the treasure of his word to “earthen vessels.” It is precisely those who are weak and frail that the Lord God calls to be His servants so that His power and righteousness is made manifest to all. So it was with Jeremiah; so it is through all the pages of Scripture; and so it is today with us His Church.